Australian adventure; Day 2 & 3

Happy Sunday! 

This weekend has been a lovely one, full of relaxation, shopping and exploring. 

Palm Cove

Saturday; Today I sang... like properly sang for the first time in forever. It was quite emotional and I realized how much I enjoy it, how much I have missed it, and how complete it makes me feel. The concert is in 6 days time, so I shall be doing a lot of rehearsing for it this week! Then I went to a place called Palm Cove. Palm cove is a 40 minute walk along from the beach where I am staying. Here I ate lunch and went to bar after bar after bar for drinks. Then for dinner a lovely pizza restaurant - I have never had such a good pizza in my life! 

Sunday; This morning I woke up early and went to a monthly town market. I bought 2 beautiful dresses from a boutique called "Love Lucy" (check her out on facebook!) I then went and looked at the Botanical gardens and then on to a beach called "Yorkeys Knob!" (this name did make me giggle!From Yorkeys I then went on to a yot club where I had a drink and then headed to Smithfields, which is a shopping centre and here I picked up some more food for home (including these addictive biscuits called tim tams!) Then I came home and have been relaxing by the pool and have already finished one book!

Yot Club

Yorkeys Knob

Whilst at home on the friday I noticed a street on google maps called "Pease Street" so I was determined to find it and I did! 

Tonight will be a relaxing night at home, eating a home made curry as I start work at the zoo tomorow! I apologise that this entry has been a bit of a child's "what I did over the weekend" piece of homework; I'm too relaxed too enter into creative writing mode!

Have a good weekend xxxx

Day 1; Australian Adventure

Good afternoon from the other side of the World!
It is a stunning 30degrees here and I have already fallen in love with the tiny bit of Australia that I have seen. The beach is just a few minutes walk away...

The journey here went well apart from the fact that they lost my luggage! It should be here this afternoon... but how typical that as soon as I arrive the first thing I have to do is shop! There were two little mishaps on my journey. The first was when I landed in Dubai - I followed everyone else to the flight to Sydney, only to find out at the gate that I wasn't on the flight and so I had to run and then catch a TRAIN to my depature gate. That will teach me to follow the crowd!

The second mishap happened in Sydney. I didn't have a boarding pass to get on the plane as at Gatwick I was told I could get one from the Qantas desk at Sydney airport. At the Qantas desk they told me "no we don't do that you need to go to transfers" so off I went to the transfers desk. Transfers told me "No we don't issue boarding passes for the plane you are flying with" "What do I do then?" I asked, on the verge of tears now as I was incredibly tierd and felt disgusting from being in a tube in the air for 25 hours. "We don't know" they replied. I walked away praying that an angel would appear to show me how to get this flipping boarding pass! And sure enough a man asked if I was okay, I told him my problem and he told me all I needed to do was find my depature gate and they would give me my pass there. (Thank you God!)

So not a bad journey and if anyone is wanting to go to Australia but is being put off by the journey it really isin't as bad as it sounds.. endless food, endless movies... and endless sleep if you can sleep on a plane!

Today I have had a lazy day, been food shopping and reading by the pool... then tonight I'm having my first aussie BBQ and hopefully unpacking if my luggage arrives.
Saturday and Sunday will probably be more sight seeing of the town and beach, and then Monday I start working at the zoo which I am so excited about!

Write soon... let me know if you like this little blogs informing you of my time away!
Bethany xxxxx

Bon Voyage

This post is abit of a life update! 
This is it! I am off to Australia tomorow eeep! I have packed my suitcase and it only weighs 16kg! Woohoo!

 I am both excited and nervous and thats ok...
I'm nervous about saying goodbye to my family (goodbyes make my throat hurt) and I'm a little nervous about the 27 hour flight alone - however, I tend to fall asleep at the drop of the hat so I'm hoping all will be well and I shall sit next to some lovely stranger who won't mind if I rest my head on their shoulder and dribble a little.

But mainly I am SO EXCITED. I have wanted to go to Australia since I was little, and now I have been so blessed with the opportunity to go - it really is the best thing that has happened to me in my gap year.

It is only for 5 weeks, so it is like a long holiday but I really believe that sometimes you just need some time away to clear you head and think about things. And recently things have been a lot clearer for me and I believe that's because I'm stepping out of my comfort zone; I'm starting to push doors that I hadn't really thought about before, and I encourage you, if you are currently stuck in a rut to do just that.

There are many opportunities waiting ahead for me in Australia - I'm working in a zoo (which is something I would have never thought of doing before) and I will also be getting to do a lot of singing which makes me incredibly happy!

In the song posted above there is a verse that says "I tried control but I didn't know where I was going, I went down MY road, but my road just left me broken" And this is so true - I was living for myself, and at the end of the day we can make all the plans we want for ourselves but God knows what's best for us and his plans will always over power ours. How exciting that part of his plan for me was to go to Australia!

Last night at my youth group we had a talk on "disappointment, stress and failure" and the lady leading the talk said that her mum used to pray "may God's plans be 10 feet tall in front of you" I know so many people are praying for me that whilst I'm out in Oz everything will become much clearer and I am so grateful for that.

Thats all I want too say - I hope you are all having a great Monday, and I'll write to you all next from the other side of the World!
xxx

Why are you so skinny?

This isn't the typical type of post from me today, It's a somewhat controversial post, that I hope plenty of you can sink your teeth into (do not bite too hard, this is not a debate).
I also want to say that I am in no way looking for attention and I don't want any of you reading this too roll your eyes and think "shut up, you're so lucky you are so skinny"

I am writing this post because recently I have had a few comments about my weight and also I have found that my weight can actually make people view me as fragile and weak and not as strong and can actually stop me from doing things I am perfectly capable of doing! That REALLY grinds my gears.

I'd like to point out, I in no way, shape, or form have ever had an eating disorder. Those of you who know me, will know I eat whenever I like and whatever I like.  Pizzas, Burgers, Chips, Mcdonalds, Fizzy drinks. I eat no less than the average girl...yet why am I so incredibly skinny? The answer here is simply "Metabolism". My metabolism is what I'd like to call "super metabolism". For those of you who don't know what metabolism is, it's basically a chemical reaction that happens in all your living organisms to help maintain life, in non scientific forms, the rate at which your body burns calories and breaks down fat. Having a high metabolism means that it is impossible for me to put on weight, and maintain it. My body breaks down fat and burns calories at a stupidly fast rate. Now I know for a fact, that many of you will be reading this thinking "Shut up Bethany, I'd absolutely LOVE to have a high metabolism"..but let me tell you, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

You always hear about larger people going through a tough time trying to lose weight, slim people can go through just as much of a tough time trying to put it on, but nobody ever really thinks of that.

"Are you anorexic", "you need to put some weight on", "You are a bag of bones", "why are you so boney", "why are you so skinny", "get some meat on your bones", "are you okay?"

All this you would kind of expect from curious school children, but what astonishes me, is that people still ask me these things. People I  know.Would you say these things to someone who was noticeably larger than the average person?

"Are you obese", "you need to loose weight", "you are a big bag of fat", "why are you so fat" "you need to get some meat off those bones" "are you..okay?"

No. You just wouldn't ask those questions would you. So why is it acceptable to ask a skinny person questions of the same criteria? Do you think it doesn't affect them in the same way it would someone who was fat?

 I wish I could be a little bigger, but I have the joy of being able to scoff a whole tub of ben and jerrys and not have to worry. Trust me though, my skin and organs probabaly do not appreciate this, and I'm very unhealthy. You won't ever catch me eating a bowl of salad or nuts & raisins. I am almost sure my metabolism will not stay this way forever, it will all catch up with me, and then my decade of eating rubbish food will probabaly result in me waking up and being 10x bigger.

I recently got upset by someone by them saying "Bethany, you are SO skinny". For a start...how the hell do you even respond to something like that? I think I just stood with my mouth open, wondering what on earth made it okay to say something like that? What was going on in this persons mind? Would this person have said the same thing to a fat person? Nope. Because calling someone fat is seen as an insult, but calling someone out to be too skinny...is apparently acceptable? I think commenting on anybodies weight is unnaceptable. Who are you to judge someone by the size of them?

It's really not fair. Nobody ever takes into account genes, metabolism, bone structure, medical problems. There are thousands or reasons people are how they are, and why people are the size they are.

So, is calling someone skinny really acceptable? Or, do you agree with me that it's just as insensitive as calling someone fat? As as naturally skinny person, I can tell you that it's not very nice being called out for being "too skinny." It's a bit of a touchy subject but one I wanted to address.

Moral of the story here though, is that I don't really think it's ever acceptable to comment on anybody's weight, skinny or fat. Why should you ever be allowed an opinion on someone else's body or way of life? You can think it in your head, but the minute you open your mouth it becomes very dangerous, that is of course unless you are opening your mouth to give a compliment, by all means do this. If YOU are happy with the way you look, that's all that matters, and if you aren't, chances are you are doing something about it and working towards something you know you will make you happy.

Everybody is different, and nobody is perfect. It would be a very boring place if this wasn't the case.

 

 

<3

 

Dear 16 year old me...

Writing a letter to 16 year old you may seem abit psycho (!) but I think writing it has made me realise just how far I have come in a few years. If you are younger than me, please, learn from this letter. 

 Here is my letter to 16 year old me..

 

Dear Bethany,

You are beautiful. So what you wear glasses and have a brace? Glasses will become a trend in a few years time. And that brace? That brace that is so painful, and annoying and unattractive, will one day give you teeth that everyone is jealous of.

That acne on your face? It’s really not as bad as it seems. It looks 100 times worse to you than it does to anyone else. And one day it will be gone – I know its hard to believe now, but one day you will have no acne, just have patience with those tablets. They DO work.

Oh and Bethany! Study for your exams – GCSE’s and A levels that will soon be here. I know it’s boring and tedious but those courses you want to do at university you’ll only be able to do if you get the grades.  And trust me Bethany, those courses will be so much harder to get into in the year 2012. Pick media and English and health and social for a level. And stick with the philosophy, it gets better!

Bethany – use your talent. Don’t hide it away because you feel everyone else is so much better at it than you. SING GIRL. Have the confidence to let go on that stage. Don’t be so tense. God gave you that voice, use it. Improve every day. Go to that theatre group you’ve been wanting to go too. Don’t be shy.

That boy you’re in love with and are planning a future with? He’s not thinking the same dear girl. He’s 16... for a boy, in emotional intelligence that’s about 13. Don’t pin all your hopes and dreams on him because he’s going to break your heart. And another boy will break your heart after him too because you still won’t have learned to put your hope and plans in God rather than on a boy. And neither of them will ever speak to you again even though they say they want to be friends. But you will learn eventually. And you will become strong. And just because your heart gets broken it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. No Bethany, you are not ugly, you are not unlovable, and you won’t be alone forever. You are so young and the plans for you are so massive, and your character is being built.

Those girls at school you really want to be like? Don’t be.  Stay you at school. Stand up for what you believe in, stand up for that girl getting bullied because she has special needs. Stand up to those girls who laugh at you for not wearing make up to school, or for going to church on a Sunday and not getting drunk every weekend. Don’t be that girl who every Monday was sitting in the loo’s crying about what she had done with that boy on the weekend. When you get to 19 you will realise that you are just as good as them. You are just as pretty. You are just as “cool”

Don’t worry so much about what people think about you! I bet you there is at least one person out there who wishes they could be just like you. I know it’s difficult because you want to be liked and popular, but the people who are right for you and good for your life will love you FOR BEING BETHANY and not for being something you are not.

The friends you have at school at the moment? Treasure every moment with them, every laugh, every disagreement. Because you’ll only be in contact with 2 of those school friends  when you’re 19. And maybe that’s not such a bad thing, you see Bethany, people change, they move on.  People who you thought were your friends really won’t be, and they will do things and say things that hurt you. And you will meet people in the most unexpected of ways who will change your life and become life long friends.  Never take for granted those friends who always make an effort with you, because in life it’s not about who you have known for the longest – it’s about who came and never left.

That job of yours that you really don’t like going too? It’s really not that bad. Stick it out. You’ll realise how blessed you were to be in such a good Saturday job.

Bethany – value your family. I know it may seem like they are always getting on your back and telling you what to do. But they know best and they know you better than anyone. They will always be the ones there to pick up the pieces when you are broken. And don’t forget Bethany, as you get older, so are your parents so look after them. Be a role model for your younger sister; don’t do anything you wouldn’t want her to do.

Finally Bethany, never stop putting God first. Once you stop putting God in charge of your life, and going down your own road it will leave you broken.  If something doesn’t feel right in your heart and gut in your life then it probably isn’t – never ignore that feeling.

x

 

What would you tell your 16 year old self? For some of you reading this 16 may be ages ago, for some of you 16 will be more recent and some of you won’t have even reached 16 yet. Just remember, it is never too late to become who we really want to be and to do all the things we want to do.

Valentines

Valentines day is fast approaching. It's a day people either LOVE or HATE. Abit like marmite I suppose...
 It makes those in relationships jump for joy and those of us that are single groan and duvet cocoon. I for one have never been that bothered about it, sure it's nice to get gifts and be shown you're appreciated, but the person who loves you should do that everyday not just on Feburary the 14th.

I've been thinking about love alot recently. We are bought up with movies, songs and literature that make love seem perfect, romantic and if anything goes wrong with it, can usually be fixed within 24hours. Reality is not like this, as many of us learn the hard way.

I've been IN love twice. Being in love is a good thing BUT it's not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. I've had to learn you cannot make the basis of it your whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it's still a feeling and as we all know you can't rely on a feeling to last in it its full intensity or to even last at all. Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last, but a feeling? A feeling comes and goes. And  the state of being "in love" doesn't usually last. (Please don't think I'm being depressing this is going somewhere I promise)

If the old fairytale of "they lived happily ever after" is taken to mean that for the next fifty years of your life with someone you felt exactly the same as you did the day before you got married - how undesirable would that be?! Who could bear to live in such excitement for THAT long? What would become of your work, appetite, friendships and your sleep?

I'm not saying that ceasing to be IN love need not mean ceasing to love. Love is distinct from being IN love because it is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity. Two people can have this love for eachother even at moments when they do not like eachother. They retain this love even when they could both easily, if they allowed themselves, be IN love with someone else.

That is what we all need to find. That is what I want to find. I'm so DONE with chasing. I'm so DONE with loving someone and giving my all to someone who doesn't give it all back. So what if I'm romanced? I want someone that even after those butterflies have gone, and their normal sleeping pattern has returned still loves me. I think everyone deserves that kind of love.
I havn't found that kind of love yet - I've been IN love. But I think the people I've loved didn't want to be alone (maybe I didn't want to be alone...) Or maybe I was good for their ego. Or maybe I made them feel better about their lives - but at the end of it, you don't destroy people you love. You stick with them.

Being IN love is the explosion that starts it all.

I'm not completly on a downer this valentines day... Ever looked at John 3:16 from the bible?  It spells VALENTINE down the middle!

So this valentines day you are not alone, you have God who loves you so much let his SON die for you? Has anybody else in your life done that for you? By letting his son DIE for you, if you believe in him, then guess what? You will never die but have life forever with God.
I can't think of a better valentines gift.

Bethany x

Part of his divine plan...

I took a gap year to figure out what it is I want to do with the rest of my adult life. How are we as 17 year olds in our first year of college with all the pressures being a teenager brings; (exams, friends relationships, apperance, part time jobs...) also meant to decide what to do with the rest of our lives? IT'S UTTER NONSENSE. MOST OF THE PEOPLE I KNOW AT THIS AGE STILL HAVE THEIR PARENTS COOK THEIR DINNER AND GIVE THEM POCKET MONEY.

It also makes me laugh how our education system won't let certain people apply for certain courses if they don't have the predicted grades. For example one of my best friends wants to be a doctor; she would make a fantastic doctor, but because her school will not predict her the grades (that she could so easily get) that she needs to get into study medicine she can't apply for medicine - her dream ruined. Do schools/the government realise the pressure and the emotional strain they are putting on young people?!

Of course there are some people out there who know exactly what it is they want to do, and can go straight from school/college to get a degree and they should see themselves as fortunate. But what about people like me who have no idea what they want to do? Or people also like me who want to do everything.

I've wanted to be a teacher, a nurse, a midwife, a politician (harrdeeharr) an actress, a singer, an air stewardess, a receptionist, an arts centre manager, and a lady of leisure. I admit, I'm fickle. I get told I'm fickle by everyone. I get told that I should know by now what I want to do. I get told I won't get anywhere in life. You know what?

I'M 19 YEARS OLD. GIVE ME A CHANCE. I'M YOUNG.

Taking a gap year has made me grow up into an adult for sure; I have to earn my living doing a job I really hate, I have to be independent and I have to finally decide what I am going to do with the rest of my life. I think I've finally realised that I do need to go to university and I do need to get a degree. University is where your life starts, and I'm scared I'll be left behind in little old Tolworth Road forever if I don't break out of my comfort zone. I have a place at Portsmouth university for September 2013, however being the fickle person I am I no longer believe this is the right place for me.

I want to stay in London - move out of Surbiton - but stay in London; not just because my family live here, but because I am a London girl through and through. I was born there, I go every weekend, I LOVE the people, the theatre, the sights. And also, if I stay in London I will be able to carry on singing. Those of you that know me know I am torn between getting into theatre or working with children/young people.

 So, I'm now looking at London Universities to do a Childhood and Youth Studies degree... don't ask me what I want that degree to lead into, as I have no idea. I'm not sure if I will be allowed to apply for 2013 (I will find out tomorow GULP) and if I can't then I will have to take another gap year... HAH! (More ranting blog posts for you all!)

I guess I've just go to remember that I am where God wants me to be at this very moment; every experience is part of his divine plan.

But don't think this will be my final choice, I'm fickle and am bound to find something else in the next few months... unless this is what God really wants!

Until next time,
Bethany x