Part of his divine plan...

I took a gap year to figure out what it is I want to do with the rest of my adult life. How are we as 17 year olds in our first year of college with all the pressures being a teenager brings; (exams, friends relationships, apperance, part time jobs...) also meant to decide what to do with the rest of our lives? IT'S UTTER NONSENSE. MOST OF THE PEOPLE I KNOW AT THIS AGE STILL HAVE THEIR PARENTS COOK THEIR DINNER AND GIVE THEM POCKET MONEY.

It also makes me laugh how our education system won't let certain people apply for certain courses if they don't have the predicted grades. For example one of my best friends wants to be a doctor; she would make a fantastic doctor, but because her school will not predict her the grades (that she could so easily get) that she needs to get into study medicine she can't apply for medicine - her dream ruined. Do schools/the government realise the pressure and the emotional strain they are putting on young people?!

Of course there are some people out there who know exactly what it is they want to do, and can go straight from school/college to get a degree and they should see themselves as fortunate. But what about people like me who have no idea what they want to do? Or people also like me who want to do everything.

I've wanted to be a teacher, a nurse, a midwife, a politician (harrdeeharr) an actress, a singer, an air stewardess, a receptionist, an arts centre manager, and a lady of leisure. I admit, I'm fickle. I get told I'm fickle by everyone. I get told that I should know by now what I want to do. I get told I won't get anywhere in life. You know what?

I'M 19 YEARS OLD. GIVE ME A CHANCE. I'M YOUNG.

Taking a gap year has made me grow up into an adult for sure; I have to earn my living doing a job I really hate, I have to be independent and I have to finally decide what I am going to do with the rest of my life. I think I've finally realised that I do need to go to university and I do need to get a degree. University is where your life starts, and I'm scared I'll be left behind in little old Tolworth Road forever if I don't break out of my comfort zone. I have a place at Portsmouth university for September 2013, however being the fickle person I am I no longer believe this is the right place for me.

I want to stay in London - move out of Surbiton - but stay in London; not just because my family live here, but because I am a London girl through and through. I was born there, I go every weekend, I LOVE the people, the theatre, the sights. And also, if I stay in London I will be able to carry on singing. Those of you that know me know I am torn between getting into theatre or working with children/young people.

 So, I'm now looking at London Universities to do a Childhood and Youth Studies degree... don't ask me what I want that degree to lead into, as I have no idea. I'm not sure if I will be allowed to apply for 2013 (I will find out tomorow GULP) and if I can't then I will have to take another gap year... HAH! (More ranting blog posts for you all!)

I guess I've just go to remember that I am where God wants me to be at this very moment; every experience is part of his divine plan.

But don't think this will be my final choice, I'm fickle and am bound to find something else in the next few months... unless this is what God really wants!

Until next time,
Bethany x