Why are you so skinny?

This isn't the typical type of post from me today, It's a somewhat controversial post, that I hope plenty of you can sink your teeth into (do not bite too hard, this is not a debate).
I also want to say that I am in no way looking for attention and I don't want any of you reading this too roll your eyes and think "shut up, you're so lucky you are so skinny"

I am writing this post because recently I have had a few comments about my weight and also I have found that my weight can actually make people view me as fragile and weak and not as strong and can actually stop me from doing things I am perfectly capable of doing! That REALLY grinds my gears.

I'd like to point out, I in no way, shape, or form have ever had an eating disorder. Those of you who know me, will know I eat whenever I like and whatever I like.  Pizzas, Burgers, Chips, Mcdonalds, Fizzy drinks. I eat no less than the average girl...yet why am I so incredibly skinny? The answer here is simply "Metabolism". My metabolism is what I'd like to call "super metabolism". For those of you who don't know what metabolism is, it's basically a chemical reaction that happens in all your living organisms to help maintain life, in non scientific forms, the rate at which your body burns calories and breaks down fat. Having a high metabolism means that it is impossible for me to put on weight, and maintain it. My body breaks down fat and burns calories at a stupidly fast rate. Now I know for a fact, that many of you will be reading this thinking "Shut up Bethany, I'd absolutely LOVE to have a high metabolism"..but let me tell you, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

You always hear about larger people going through a tough time trying to lose weight, slim people can go through just as much of a tough time trying to put it on, but nobody ever really thinks of that.

"Are you anorexic", "you need to put some weight on", "You are a bag of bones", "why are you so boney", "why are you so skinny", "get some meat on your bones", "are you okay?"

All this you would kind of expect from curious school children, but what astonishes me, is that people still ask me these things. People I  know.Would you say these things to someone who was noticeably larger than the average person?

"Are you obese", "you need to loose weight", "you are a big bag of fat", "why are you so fat" "you need to get some meat off those bones" "are you..okay?"

No. You just wouldn't ask those questions would you. So why is it acceptable to ask a skinny person questions of the same criteria? Do you think it doesn't affect them in the same way it would someone who was fat?

 I wish I could be a little bigger, but I have the joy of being able to scoff a whole tub of ben and jerrys and not have to worry. Trust me though, my skin and organs probabaly do not appreciate this, and I'm very unhealthy. You won't ever catch me eating a bowl of salad or nuts & raisins. I am almost sure my metabolism will not stay this way forever, it will all catch up with me, and then my decade of eating rubbish food will probabaly result in me waking up and being 10x bigger.

I recently got upset by someone by them saying "Bethany, you are SO skinny". For a start...how the hell do you even respond to something like that? I think I just stood with my mouth open, wondering what on earth made it okay to say something like that? What was going on in this persons mind? Would this person have said the same thing to a fat person? Nope. Because calling someone fat is seen as an insult, but calling someone out to be too skinny...is apparently acceptable? I think commenting on anybodies weight is unnaceptable. Who are you to judge someone by the size of them?

It's really not fair. Nobody ever takes into account genes, metabolism, bone structure, medical problems. There are thousands or reasons people are how they are, and why people are the size they are.

So, is calling someone skinny really acceptable? Or, do you agree with me that it's just as insensitive as calling someone fat? As as naturally skinny person, I can tell you that it's not very nice being called out for being "too skinny." It's a bit of a touchy subject but one I wanted to address.

Moral of the story here though, is that I don't really think it's ever acceptable to comment on anybody's weight, skinny or fat. Why should you ever be allowed an opinion on someone else's body or way of life? You can think it in your head, but the minute you open your mouth it becomes very dangerous, that is of course unless you are opening your mouth to give a compliment, by all means do this. If YOU are happy with the way you look, that's all that matters, and if you aren't, chances are you are doing something about it and working towards something you know you will make you happy.

Everybody is different, and nobody is perfect. It would be a very boring place if this wasn't the case.

 

 

<3

 

Dear 16 year old me...

Writing a letter to 16 year old you may seem abit psycho (!) but I think writing it has made me realise just how far I have come in a few years. If you are younger than me, please, learn from this letter. 

 Here is my letter to 16 year old me..

 

Dear Bethany,

You are beautiful. So what you wear glasses and have a brace? Glasses will become a trend in a few years time. And that brace? That brace that is so painful, and annoying and unattractive, will one day give you teeth that everyone is jealous of.

That acne on your face? It’s really not as bad as it seems. It looks 100 times worse to you than it does to anyone else. And one day it will be gone – I know its hard to believe now, but one day you will have no acne, just have patience with those tablets. They DO work.

Oh and Bethany! Study for your exams – GCSE’s and A levels that will soon be here. I know it’s boring and tedious but those courses you want to do at university you’ll only be able to do if you get the grades.  And trust me Bethany, those courses will be so much harder to get into in the year 2012. Pick media and English and health and social for a level. And stick with the philosophy, it gets better!

Bethany – use your talent. Don’t hide it away because you feel everyone else is so much better at it than you. SING GIRL. Have the confidence to let go on that stage. Don’t be so tense. God gave you that voice, use it. Improve every day. Go to that theatre group you’ve been wanting to go too. Don’t be shy.

That boy you’re in love with and are planning a future with? He’s not thinking the same dear girl. He’s 16... for a boy, in emotional intelligence that’s about 13. Don’t pin all your hopes and dreams on him because he’s going to break your heart. And another boy will break your heart after him too because you still won’t have learned to put your hope and plans in God rather than on a boy. And neither of them will ever speak to you again even though they say they want to be friends. But you will learn eventually. And you will become strong. And just because your heart gets broken it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. No Bethany, you are not ugly, you are not unlovable, and you won’t be alone forever. You are so young and the plans for you are so massive, and your character is being built.

Those girls at school you really want to be like? Don’t be.  Stay you at school. Stand up for what you believe in, stand up for that girl getting bullied because she has special needs. Stand up to those girls who laugh at you for not wearing make up to school, or for going to church on a Sunday and not getting drunk every weekend. Don’t be that girl who every Monday was sitting in the loo’s crying about what she had done with that boy on the weekend. When you get to 19 you will realise that you are just as good as them. You are just as pretty. You are just as “cool”

Don’t worry so much about what people think about you! I bet you there is at least one person out there who wishes they could be just like you. I know it’s difficult because you want to be liked and popular, but the people who are right for you and good for your life will love you FOR BEING BETHANY and not for being something you are not.

The friends you have at school at the moment? Treasure every moment with them, every laugh, every disagreement. Because you’ll only be in contact with 2 of those school friends  when you’re 19. And maybe that’s not such a bad thing, you see Bethany, people change, they move on.  People who you thought were your friends really won’t be, and they will do things and say things that hurt you. And you will meet people in the most unexpected of ways who will change your life and become life long friends.  Never take for granted those friends who always make an effort with you, because in life it’s not about who you have known for the longest – it’s about who came and never left.

That job of yours that you really don’t like going too? It’s really not that bad. Stick it out. You’ll realise how blessed you were to be in such a good Saturday job.

Bethany – value your family. I know it may seem like they are always getting on your back and telling you what to do. But they know best and they know you better than anyone. They will always be the ones there to pick up the pieces when you are broken. And don’t forget Bethany, as you get older, so are your parents so look after them. Be a role model for your younger sister; don’t do anything you wouldn’t want her to do.

Finally Bethany, never stop putting God first. Once you stop putting God in charge of your life, and going down your own road it will leave you broken.  If something doesn’t feel right in your heart and gut in your life then it probably isn’t – never ignore that feeling.

x

 

What would you tell your 16 year old self? For some of you reading this 16 may be ages ago, for some of you 16 will be more recent and some of you won’t have even reached 16 yet. Just remember, it is never too late to become who we really want to be and to do all the things we want to do.