It's blog 2 on lessons I have learnt this year; the lesson is "self confidence"
It has taken me a while to figure out whether or not I should publish this blog, because in some ways I feel more vulnerable publishing something like this than a blog on emotions.
I have suffered from spots since the morning of my 13th birthday. I woke up and there smack BANG on my right cheek was a huge red angry spot. But it didn't bother me, because at 13 I wasn't really concerned by the way I looked. But then I reached 16 my skin really started to go downhill. I would get big angry spots all along my jaw line, and cheeks, my forehead, my eyebrows, my back, my shoulders. Having a mum who is a nurse she recommended we went to the doctors and got some antibiotics just to calm them down. Again, it didn't really bother me but they weren't pleasant. The antibiotics worked, and my skin cleared up for 5 months. Then again, another round of spots hit me, so back to the doctors I went where I was put on a higher dose of antibiotics. I must have been nearly 17 at this time, so it was starting to affect me a bit more, so I started wearing heavy make up to cover up my skin (this doesn't help it, but its a self confidence thing) 5 months later, I had glowing, radiant spot free skin and all was fine until I got back from Australia this year. My face ERRUPTED (gross image!) These were no longer spots - this was acne. Back to the doctors I went, and this time being more grown up and more headstrong I said to my doctor "I want you to find out why I get these spots, and I want to know why they NEVER fully go away" I was put on 2 lots of tablets and a special cream... and nothing was happening. The acne was staying and getting redder, and angrier and more painful. As my skin was getting worse and worse, my mood was also getting worse and worse. I would wake up in the mornings and dread looking in the mirror. I would flinch as I applied my moisturiser because my face hurt so much. I would feel like punching my sister or my friend when they complained of one tiny spot on their chin. I felt like bursting into tears over ANYTHING. It all became too much one Sunday evening. I don't know what caused it, but I had just taken my make up off ready for bed and just couldn't bear the sight of my face. I started scratching at it, trying to pull the skin off and ran down the stairs in hysterics to my parents. "I hate myself, I hate my skin, I'm so ugly, I never want to leave the house again!" (my poor parents :-( ) I wasn't doing this for attention - this is how I really felt. My parents didn't know what to do - there was nothing they could do. So I went to bed. The next few weeks and months that followed that break down, I wasn't really Bethany. I didn't want to get out of bed in the mornings. I stopped going out with friends. I would go out, get paranoid that everyone was staring at my face, have an anxiety attack and come straight home. You see, people don't realise how much acne can affect a person - it causes so many cases of depression and anxiety and I really believe that more should be done about raising awareness of how it can make someone feel. Nobody had ever said anything mean about it too me, but I was beating myself up over it and we are our own worse critics. I started getting deeper treatments for my skin, and it has massively improved. Sadly I am always going to be left with bruising on my face, until I am rich enough to afford laser treatment, but it's nothing make up can't cover for now.
What I am trying to say from this blog is that I truly truly hated how I looked. I didn't feel confident, beautiful or accepted by society until my skin started clearing up. And that shouldn't have been the case - we should all know that we are children of God, and he has formed us carefully and thoughtfully and loves us for who we are. God would NEVER have said the things to me that I was saying to myself! We wouldn't look at a sunrise, or a gorgeous countryside scene and say "Ergh what a piece of crap, why did God ever make that?" so why should we do that to ourselves? The human mind baffles me sometimes. And we need to be so careful what we think, as the power of negative thoughts has a bigger impact than we know.
We all need self confidence. And what I needed to learn was that self confidence should not come from our looks or our talents. Self confidence comes from knowing who you are, and that you are loved more than you will ever know by someone who died to save you (Jesus)
I have learnt more and more that character and personality really is what makes someone beautiful. You can see the size 8, blonde haired, spot free skin girl or the tall, muscular well dressed male and think "yes, they are beautiful" but then you get to know them and start talking to them and they are as dull as a brick wall. What really is beautiful is a caring, kind heart, a non-fake smile and laughter. It sounds cheesy, but if you are confident in yourself and can exhibit all of the above qualities then soon you will start to feel that you are beautiful and if you believe it, others will too.
This blog wasn't a cry for attention or compliments - this was a blog to say to people to stop beating yourselves up; you are loved and accepted and perfectly created. We will all have days where we wished we were a Victoria's secret model, but on those days we need to stop and thank God that we are alive and healthy and beautiful in his sight.
Bethany x
Wednesday 27 November 2013
Tuesday 19 November 2013
Lessons learnt
2013 has been a roller coaster year, and as there are only 42 days left (!) I have decided to do a series of blog posts on lessons I've learnt throughout 2013.
Tonight I want to write about "It is better to try and fail then not try at all"
I think its fair to say I've tried a few different career choices in my short 20 years. (& please don't think I'm fickle) At the end of 2012 I was an intern for a theatre company, worked in the library and then worked at Sainsbury's in the bakery! My time at the theatre and the library were happy one's but they needed to come to an end, my time at Sainsbury's was a crappy one but it was a job and for that I should be thankful.
In April 2013 I went to Australia and worked in a zoo! I'd never worked in a zoo before, and never thought I would and I was probably slightly deluded thinking I could even try working in a zoo but I gave it a go anyway! A few kangaroo kicks, koala scratches and dead rats later I knew that a career with animals was not for me. But I tried and now I have some funny stories to tell and what an experience it was to be up close and interacting with all these amazing animals.
When I returned from Australia I decided to start a 8 month course in beauty therapy - make up has always been an interest of mine so I decided to take that interest a little further. I now have 8 weeks left of that course and I now know that a career in the beauty industry is not for me either! Before I started my course I thought beauty therapy was a doss career (just being honest) and that the girls who did it were not the brightest bulbs around. But boy was I wrong. Beauty therapy is hard work, that involves long hours, lots of anatomy and physiology and being a very creative and caring person. I really admire some of the girls and guys I have met on the course and know that they will all do amazingly in their careers within the beauty industry.
However, I find some of the treatments incredibly challenging, the environment tedious and I really can't wait to leave. But again, I don't regret it - I've tried something new and have another skill set under my belt.
I guess what I'm trying to say in all my ramblings is that if you don't step out of your comfort zone, if you don't take risks then are you living and are you learning? By taking risks and doing things you wouldn't normally do, you find out things about yourself. You may discover a new talent or you may find out that its really not for you, and if that's the case then WHO CARES? You TRIED something and now you know something about yourself.
For ages (and you can see from previous blogs) I have never really known what it is I've wanted to do, and I've often beat myself up about it. I wanted to be one of those people who knew what career they wanted. But as we come towards the end of the year I've realised how many skills I've gained. how much I have matured and grown as a person and how many stories I will have to tell when I'm older.
One of the most important things I have learnt through 2013 is that painful break - ups, unrequited love, crappy jobs/courses and the like help to build character, and that no matter how painful it feels you are much better off because of it.
I am still trying new things towards the end of 2013, and my advice to you is this: If there is something you want to try, DO IT. If you don't like where you are, MOVE you are not a tree. Of course you have to be sensible in the choices you make and not to do anything hastily, but you never know what lies ahead for you out of your comfort zone.
x
Tonight I want to write about "It is better to try and fail then not try at all"
I think its fair to say I've tried a few different career choices in my short 20 years. (& please don't think I'm fickle) At the end of 2012 I was an intern for a theatre company, worked in the library and then worked at Sainsbury's in the bakery! My time at the theatre and the library were happy one's but they needed to come to an end, my time at Sainsbury's was a crappy one but it was a job and for that I should be thankful.
In April 2013 I went to Australia and worked in a zoo! I'd never worked in a zoo before, and never thought I would and I was probably slightly deluded thinking I could even try working in a zoo but I gave it a go anyway! A few kangaroo kicks, koala scratches and dead rats later I knew that a career with animals was not for me. But I tried and now I have some funny stories to tell and what an experience it was to be up close and interacting with all these amazing animals.
When I returned from Australia I decided to start a 8 month course in beauty therapy - make up has always been an interest of mine so I decided to take that interest a little further. I now have 8 weeks left of that course and I now know that a career in the beauty industry is not for me either! Before I started my course I thought beauty therapy was a doss career (just being honest) and that the girls who did it were not the brightest bulbs around. But boy was I wrong. Beauty therapy is hard work, that involves long hours, lots of anatomy and physiology and being a very creative and caring person. I really admire some of the girls and guys I have met on the course and know that they will all do amazingly in their careers within the beauty industry.
However, I find some of the treatments incredibly challenging, the environment tedious and I really can't wait to leave. But again, I don't regret it - I've tried something new and have another skill set under my belt.
I guess what I'm trying to say in all my ramblings is that if you don't step out of your comfort zone, if you don't take risks then are you living and are you learning? By taking risks and doing things you wouldn't normally do, you find out things about yourself. You may discover a new talent or you may find out that its really not for you, and if that's the case then WHO CARES? You TRIED something and now you know something about yourself.
For ages (and you can see from previous blogs) I have never really known what it is I've wanted to do, and I've often beat myself up about it. I wanted to be one of those people who knew what career they wanted. But as we come towards the end of the year I've realised how many skills I've gained. how much I have matured and grown as a person and how many stories I will have to tell when I'm older.
One of the most important things I have learnt through 2013 is that painful break - ups, unrequited love, crappy jobs/courses and the like help to build character, and that no matter how painful it feels you are much better off because of it.
I am still trying new things towards the end of 2013, and my advice to you is this: If there is something you want to try, DO IT. If you don't like where you are, MOVE you are not a tree. Of course you have to be sensible in the choices you make and not to do anything hastily, but you never know what lies ahead for you out of your comfort zone.
x
Tuesday 1 October 2013
After the rain comes the Sun
This morning my Dad was dropping me to the station and he said "It's amazing how things have worked out for you finally" I took a moment and reflected...
A few months ago I was broken and it knocked me, but then I was offered the amazing opportunity to go to Australia. Whilst in Australia I thought long and hard about what it was I wanted to do with my life and having always been interested in beauty and make-up I decided to go to Beauty School. I have been there for 4 months now and qualify in January, it's good; but it still wasn't what I wanted. I was job hunting at the same time and got offered an amazing job with the make up company Clinique, which fitted in perfectly with my course. However I had to turn down this job for a few reasons and once again I felt like I was back to square one on the job hunting front. There were a few other things going on in life that caused me to be quite gloomy, and I had stopped singing. Singing is my release, its my way of getting through an emotion, its something I feel confident in and makes me feel happy... I missed it and was getting tense and sad that I had lost some of my singing abilities... But then I found a new singing teacher. I am now singing again and performing in Aladdin at Christmas and my heart started saying "yep I'm feeling a little more fulfilled now" Then, one night I applied for a job as a young persons worker working with children who have been abused or neglected, and children who have physical or learning disabilities. I applied in haste not really thinking I would get it, as usually jobs like this like people to have a degree in child education or social work. HOWEVER to cut a long story short, I got an interview and now have a job!
I am now doing 3 things I LOVE. I am SINGING. I am WORKING. I am making people BEAUTIFUL.
I don't want this blog to be boastful. I want it to show how God takes a situation and turns it around. He has plans. Amazing plans; plans that are bigger and better than any we could ever dream of for ourselves. It has taken TIME. And it has taken PATIENCE. And it has taken PESERVERANCE. And it has taken a lot of PRAYER and tears. And I am not where I want to be, but Thank God I am not where I used to be. You can't live in brokenness. You can't go through life and say "This has happened to me and this is always the way I am going to feel and be because life is just tough" God wants to take that brokenness and turn it into beauty.
I'm sorry this has been a very self orientated blog post. But I want it to bring hope to those in a dark place that that darkness will eventually turn into light. Sometimes pain is what wakes us up and makes us listen to God. And you will get to where you are meant to be all in the right time and not any moment sooner.
“We can ignore even pleasure. But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” C.S Lewis
Bethany xx
A few months ago I was broken and it knocked me, but then I was offered the amazing opportunity to go to Australia. Whilst in Australia I thought long and hard about what it was I wanted to do with my life and having always been interested in beauty and make-up I decided to go to Beauty School. I have been there for 4 months now and qualify in January, it's good; but it still wasn't what I wanted. I was job hunting at the same time and got offered an amazing job with the make up company Clinique, which fitted in perfectly with my course. However I had to turn down this job for a few reasons and once again I felt like I was back to square one on the job hunting front. There were a few other things going on in life that caused me to be quite gloomy, and I had stopped singing. Singing is my release, its my way of getting through an emotion, its something I feel confident in and makes me feel happy... I missed it and was getting tense and sad that I had lost some of my singing abilities... But then I found a new singing teacher. I am now singing again and performing in Aladdin at Christmas and my heart started saying "yep I'm feeling a little more fulfilled now" Then, one night I applied for a job as a young persons worker working with children who have been abused or neglected, and children who have physical or learning disabilities. I applied in haste not really thinking I would get it, as usually jobs like this like people to have a degree in child education or social work. HOWEVER to cut a long story short, I got an interview and now have a job!
I am now doing 3 things I LOVE. I am SINGING. I am WORKING. I am making people BEAUTIFUL.
I don't want this blog to be boastful. I want it to show how God takes a situation and turns it around. He has plans. Amazing plans; plans that are bigger and better than any we could ever dream of for ourselves. It has taken TIME. And it has taken PATIENCE. And it has taken PESERVERANCE. And it has taken a lot of PRAYER and tears. And I am not where I want to be, but Thank God I am not where I used to be. You can't live in brokenness. You can't go through life and say "This has happened to me and this is always the way I am going to feel and be because life is just tough" God wants to take that brokenness and turn it into beauty.
I'm sorry this has been a very self orientated blog post. But I want it to bring hope to those in a dark place that that darkness will eventually turn into light. Sometimes pain is what wakes us up and makes us listen to God. And you will get to where you are meant to be all in the right time and not any moment sooner.
“We can ignore even pleasure. But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” C.S Lewis
Friday 23 August 2013
Never give up
This is where Earl Nightingale comes in; "Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway"
If you really want something - Go for it! Who cares how long it takes - if you know what you need to do, and how you are going to do it then the time will fly by as you work towards it. You will have so much more of an interesting life story to tell if you have had to work hard for something, or if there have been lots of diversions on the way.
I have been feeling a bit defeated these past few weeks; my friends are all either going into their 1st/2nd or 3rd year of university, some are engaged, some are getting married and most have jobs. I don't regret taking a gap year, it was great and I have had experiences that I wouldn't have got if I had gone to university. It has however set me back a year and I feel everyone else seems to be moving on with their lives and I'm still in the same place. HOWEVER I can't dwell on that, I know what I want to do, it is just going to take me a few years to get there.
I think its really important that we (myself included) don't compare our struggles to anyone else's. That we don't get discouraged by someone else's success - we all have our own success in life, maybe by gaining a degree, or maybe by travelling to the other side of the world alone. Never compare your beginning to someone else's middle; you don't have to do what everyone else is doing.
God has an amazing plan for everybody's life.
Never give up.
Thursday 4 July 2013
Do the unexpected
I need to admit something. I'm not like everyone else. Not even close. I may occasionally dress myself up as "one of them" or watch the same mindless TV shows, but it seems the more I try and fit in, the more of an outsider I become; like I am watching all the normal people live their automatic existence. Everytime I say club passwords such as "Have a nice day" or "Isn't the weather awful" I yearn inside to say forbidden things like; "Tell me what makes you cry" or "What do you think de ja vu is for?" I even want to talk to all those people packed tightly in on my morning rush hour train. What if they are all thinking the same things I am thinking?
Who knows what you might learn from taking a chance on conversation.. with a friend or even a stranger?
Everyone carries a piece of a puzzle.. and nobody comes into your life by mere coincidence.
Trust your instinct. Do the unexpected.
Thursday 13 June 2013
You are worth pursuing
Today I am having one of those days where my hair is not going right (thanks english weather) my skin is looking awful and I'm just feeling gross. I was moping around feeling sorry for myself when I came across this beautiful quote...
Now I have never had a man actually say to me "You are not worth pursuing" (not in those exact words anyway) but I have had knockbacks, hurtful comments as we all have and I often put myself down. To see this quote and read "God became man, died and rose again JUST to pursue you" really touched my heart. This quote doesn't just apply to me. It applies to all of you reading this. Even if you are a male - never let a WOMAN tell you you're not worth pursuing. Because God thinks you are worth a whole lot.
I guess this quote can apply to a lot of things; You have been told you you aren't clever enough to get into that university, you didn't get that job promotion you wanted etc... but at the end of that day thats just a humans view of you, in some cases its a piece of paper in an exam view of you...
What really matters in this life is God's opinion of you. He loves you and thinks you are beautiful (yes even on those bad hair days!)
Now I'm only human so when I am having these "I suck" days I tend to go shopping... but today I decided to do something a little different. I got my usual cheer me up product of new make up, but then I decided to go to the christian book shop and buy some new quiet time notes. After all, it's our heart that should be beautiful, it's our heart that God looks at, and it's our heart that men/women should fall for.
Keep going guys, it's nearly the weekend!
Bethany x
I guess this quote can apply to a lot of things; You have been told you you aren't clever enough to get into that university, you didn't get that job promotion you wanted etc... but at the end of that day thats just a humans view of you, in some cases its a piece of paper in an exam view of you...
What really matters in this life is God's opinion of you. He loves you and thinks you are beautiful (yes even on those bad hair days!)
Now I'm only human so when I am having these "I suck" days I tend to go shopping... but today I decided to do something a little different. I got my usual cheer me up product of new make up, but then I decided to go to the christian book shop and buy some new quiet time notes. After all, it's our heart that should be beautiful, it's our heart that God looks at, and it's our heart that men/women should fall for.
Keep going guys, it's nearly the weekend!
Bethany x
Monday 3 June 2013
A little something
Just a little thought provoking poem for you all too read today...
As children bring their broken toys, with tears for us to mend,
I bought my broken dreams to God, because he is my friend.
But then instead of leaving Him in peace to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help,
with ways that were my own.
At last I snatched them back again and cried,
"How can you be so slow?"
"My child" He said, "What could I do?
You never did let go."
Trust that God knows what he is doing. Trust he has perfect timing for your life. Remember you can make all the plans in the World for your life, but at the end of the day God's plans will win. We all go through things and wonder why at the time they are so painful, awkward or upsetting.
I promise you God has planned things for you that are bigger and better than you could ever imagine.
Enjoy the sunshine x
Friday 24 May 2013
Australian Adventure; Closing Chapter
My last few days in Australia have been crammed packed with exciting sight seeing. I was taken up too some waterfalls called "Emerald Creek" in the Table Lands. The Table Lands are up in the mountains so I was 1000 meters high when I was walking along those pavements and swimming in the waterfalls! The nature I saw was so beautiful... and it made me feel happy. Everything that has gone on in the World the past week (the tornado in Oklahoma, the killing of the man in Woolwich, and my family loosing a good family friend) had kind of made me doubt the World. But, seeing nature in this way made me remember that God has created this beautiful world for us to enjoy and that he cares and loves for everything he has made.
After the walking around waterfalls and swimming underneath them we then sat in the sun, drinking beers and I asked a few questions about the Aborigines as the man who took me to the waterfalls used to do tours around Kimberly, Australia where the Aborigines mainly live. They are a very interesting people group... and I think we all need to find ways to reach out too them. As far as I am aware they are not being reached at all.
The things that they get up too sometimes are shocking and sick and at some points I was stunned to silence because of the stories I was hearing. One story that is suitable for me to write on the internet is that when an aborigine dies, they aren't buried yet their bodies are put up high in the mountains so that the dingo's can't get them and a year later when they have turned into bone their bones are tied up in a bag and buried. Crazy how some people live.. but this is their traditions. They are also very big on spirits and voodoo and have been known to put a curse on someone too kill them even if that person is on the other side of the country. (Scary!) I think we all become so focused on helping those in Africa etc (not that that is a bad thing!) but we forget that there are other people out there who really need help, mentally, phsycially and spiritually.
Today (Saturday) and tomorrow I am off to Port Douglas as it is a carnival, so we shall see some fireworks, do some shopping and then eat at a popular restaurant called "Salsa" Then tomorrow we hope to do Cape Tribulation and Mossman Gorge.
This may be my last post in Australia as I head home to London early Tuesday morning and the weekend is very busy and Monday I shall be packing.
I have had the best experience ever coming out here. Every experience we go through, good or bad are depositing something on the inside of us. The challenges we all face are sharpening us into who we are going to be. I know people, and have been that person who feel they have wasted some of their life because of poor choices. We spend years in a toxic relationship, years with an addiction, years at a job were you are not fulfilled. But we need to realize nothing we go through is ever wasted.
I have a funny feeling inside of me at the moment. A feeling I get when I'm about to leave a place. Like, I'm not only going to miss the people I have met and the weather and the sights I have seen. But I'm going too miss the person I am right now in this time and place. I hope I can carry on being who I am here when I arrive back in London, because I quite like who I am becoming - and that's not a vain, boastful thing. It's good to like who you are. And I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons, and maybe we will never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power too choose where we come from...we can still choose where we go from there.
Whats next I wonder...?
Bethany x
The things that they get up too sometimes are shocking and sick and at some points I was stunned to silence because of the stories I was hearing. One story that is suitable for me to write on the internet is that when an aborigine dies, they aren't buried yet their bodies are put up high in the mountains so that the dingo's can't get them and a year later when they have turned into bone their bones are tied up in a bag and buried. Crazy how some people live.. but this is their traditions. They are also very big on spirits and voodoo and have been known to put a curse on someone too kill them even if that person is on the other side of the country. (Scary!) I think we all become so focused on helping those in Africa etc (not that that is a bad thing!) but we forget that there are other people out there who really need help, mentally, phsycially and spiritually.
Today (Saturday) and tomorrow I am off to Port Douglas as it is a carnival, so we shall see some fireworks, do some shopping and then eat at a popular restaurant called "Salsa" Then tomorrow we hope to do Cape Tribulation and Mossman Gorge.
This may be my last post in Australia as I head home to London early Tuesday morning and the weekend is very busy and Monday I shall be packing.
I have had the best experience ever coming out here. Every experience we go through, good or bad are depositing something on the inside of us. The challenges we all face are sharpening us into who we are going to be. I know people, and have been that person who feel they have wasted some of their life because of poor choices. We spend years in a toxic relationship, years with an addiction, years at a job were you are not fulfilled. But we need to realize nothing we go through is ever wasted.
I have a funny feeling inside of me at the moment. A feeling I get when I'm about to leave a place. Like, I'm not only going to miss the people I have met and the weather and the sights I have seen. But I'm going too miss the person I am right now in this time and place. I hope I can carry on being who I am here when I arrive back in London, because I quite like who I am becoming - and that's not a vain, boastful thing. It's good to like who you are. And I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons, and maybe we will never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power too choose where we come from...we can still choose where we go from there.
Whats next I wonder...?
Bethany x
Thursday 23 May 2013
Mumble Jumble
I feel like I need to write a post about the events that have gone on in the World the past few days. I feel sad. This blog will probably make no sense but I just need to put it out there.
To be honest my head is a bit all over the place and I'm afraid this blog may be a bit jumbled. And I feel like I could say some things a bit.. out there.
The past few days there has been the tornado in Oklahoma that killed many people including young children. Then yesterday in London there was the horrific attack of a man - an attack that I can't get my head around. An attack that has made me feel sick to my stomach. It has also been a week of personal sadness as my family lost a good family friend. I have no answers for it. I have no answers to justify any of the acts, whether caused by nature or by man.
The World is full of crazy, wicked, sick, sinful people. And you want to know why? Because the world is FALLEN. We are living by our rules, our ways and not God's. When people start to live by their own way, their own rules, and not God's then it all goes pear shaped. (I restrained myself from using a worse word there) Even if just one person stops following God's ways life can spiral out of control. So when a group of people stop following God's ways its just a mess. I know many people believe that religion caused the attack of the man in the streets of London. And I hate the word religion because I don't believe in it. Some of you may laugh at this and think "Bethany, you are the most religious person I know - you go to church every Sunday and you talk about God most of the time" Well that's a label you have given me yourself and have given to others who practice faith. And there's the key word FAITH. Faith and Religion are two very different things. Religion is all about following a set of rules and if you don't stick to them you are a bad person. Religion can brainwash people. It can cause them to believe that their God wants them to do certain things. No. They have no idea what God wants.
God is hurting right now too. He is looking at the event in London, the event in Oklahoma and he wants to do everything possible to heal everyone's pain and show them what true love is. Everyone needs someone to look after them at times like this. They need unconditional love. And that's what you find and receive when you come to God. Not what you get when you are brainwashed or absorbed in religion.
I expect we all have many questions we want answered about life and death. About the tornado, about the attack about long term illness. But I guess the point I am trying to get at is that I don't say I have a religion. I say I have a relationship with God. And isn't a key factor in a relationship to TRUST? I need to trust God that he will provide answers (if he needs too) and have faith that he knows what he is doing.
This event is certainly not making me want to return to London. I don't really feel like I can write anything positive about my trip whilst all this is going on in the World. I am currently in the state of "mourning with those who mourn" rather than "rejoicing with those who rejoice"
Maybe my trip up to the world's oldest rain forest tomorrow will cheer me up and remind me of God's amazing ways in the beauty of his nature.
Hope you are all smiling x
To be honest my head is a bit all over the place and I'm afraid this blog may be a bit jumbled. And I feel like I could say some things a bit.. out there.
The past few days there has been the tornado in Oklahoma that killed many people including young children. Then yesterday in London there was the horrific attack of a man - an attack that I can't get my head around. An attack that has made me feel sick to my stomach. It has also been a week of personal sadness as my family lost a good family friend. I have no answers for it. I have no answers to justify any of the acts, whether caused by nature or by man.
The World is full of crazy, wicked, sick, sinful people. And you want to know why? Because the world is FALLEN. We are living by our rules, our ways and not God's. When people start to live by their own way, their own rules, and not God's then it all goes pear shaped. (I restrained myself from using a worse word there) Even if just one person stops following God's ways life can spiral out of control. So when a group of people stop following God's ways its just a mess. I know many people believe that religion caused the attack of the man in the streets of London. And I hate the word religion because I don't believe in it. Some of you may laugh at this and think "Bethany, you are the most religious person I know - you go to church every Sunday and you talk about God most of the time" Well that's a label you have given me yourself and have given to others who practice faith. And there's the key word FAITH. Faith and Religion are two very different things. Religion is all about following a set of rules and if you don't stick to them you are a bad person. Religion can brainwash people. It can cause them to believe that their God wants them to do certain things. No. They have no idea what God wants.
God is hurting right now too. He is looking at the event in London, the event in Oklahoma and he wants to do everything possible to heal everyone's pain and show them what true love is. Everyone needs someone to look after them at times like this. They need unconditional love. And that's what you find and receive when you come to God. Not what you get when you are brainwashed or absorbed in religion.
I expect we all have many questions we want answered about life and death. About the tornado, about the attack about long term illness. But I guess the point I am trying to get at is that I don't say I have a religion. I say I have a relationship with God. And isn't a key factor in a relationship to TRUST? I need to trust God that he will provide answers (if he needs too) and have faith that he knows what he is doing.
This event is certainly not making me want to return to London. I don't really feel like I can write anything positive about my trip whilst all this is going on in the World. I am currently in the state of "mourning with those who mourn" rather than "rejoicing with those who rejoice"
Maybe my trip up to the world's oldest rain forest tomorrow will cheer me up and remind me of God's amazing ways in the beauty of his nature.
Hope you are all smiling x
Monday 20 May 2013
Australian Adventure; Sydney!
I LOVE Sydney. If I wasn't missing my family so much and had a lot more money I would get a working visa and move out there instantly.
Ah there is just so much to write I don't even know where to begin.. so I'll start at the very beginning.. the very best place to start...
I woke up early Friday morning and caught the 2hr:45min flight to Sydney. When I arrived I checked into the hotel (YHA The Rocks - very reasonable for Sydney prices!) and then went exploring. The YHA was a 5 minute walk away from "The Rocks" where all the sights too see in Sydney are, so the bridge and the opera house.
Then to get to other places in Sydney you need to catch water taxis... so on I hopped to a ferry to Darling Harbour. Here I had the first two drinks of the night - cocktails of course. Next I headed too Darlinghurst in a taxi (the traffic in Sydney is even worse than London at rush hour!) and found another cool little bar to have a drink in before a mexican dinner. Then for the final leg of the evening, I went to a "bar/pub/club" called "The Victoria Rooms" - Great Gatsby style! Amazing... my cocktail had hot peppers round the outside instead of salt.
Saturday morning I got up early and went to the markets - for breakfast there was this amazing turkish food stall which was selling turkish pancakes. I had a breakfast one which was filled with, salami, mushrooms, cheese and spinach. Then on to another market called Paddington market where I had a good old shopping spree. Then it was on to the famous Bondi Beach...
I stayed at Bondi for a while, the people I am staying with have friends there so we all met up at Bondi Social club for food and the BEST Shiraz wine I have EVER tasted. EVER. On the way home the bus journey was so funny - the till or whatever was not working so the bus driver stands up and says "on ya get for free, as long as I get paid who gives a ****" then he started playing Bob Dylan and asking everyone if they were having fun. THEN, he starts making waves with the bus (by stopping and starting really quickly) and tries to get everyone to surf them! It was brilliant... Then for dinner that night it was on to an Italian restaurant where I had my first ever grappa.. and NEVER AGAIN. It tasted like petrol.
Sydney was amazing, an experience I shall never ever forget... and I want to go back some day.
Now I am in my final week of being in Oz. I have honestly learnt a lot about myself, and realized I am stronger and braver and wiser than I used to believe I was. And I have come to realize sometimes change is a good thing. Where would we be without change? Yes change can be uncomfortable, painful and sad but for me it has been the best thing for me. I encourage you all to take a look at your life... if your life was the same as it is now this time next year, or even in 5 years time would you be happy? Would you like who you are? Would you like how you treat others.. would you wish you had gone for that career change?
If my life had not changed I would still be working miserably in a supermarket, in a long distance relationship with someone who was my life and who would be moving to Europe anyway... And even though I try to deny to myself and to others that being in that relationship wasn't the reason I didn't take opportunities, it was. And that was nobody's fault but my own. BUT, now I'm here - in AUSTRALIA, where I have always wanted to go too, and I'm in sunshine and I'm getting to sing and travel and look forward to MY future. My changes happened for a reason and no matter how painful it was, and to be honest sometimes still is (people seem to forget I'm still grieving) the change needed to happen and is best for me in the long run and is all part of God's plan for my life.
However, I suppose change can also be too much of an easy thing for people. They CONSTANTLY change things about themselves, their lives etc. and I think that is PROOF that no matter how much money you have, how much fame you have, how many changes you make to yourself and to your living situation and yet you are still not content then surely the only answer to fill that void is something higher than us human beings.. If you don't have God in your life you will never be satisfied as he and a relationship with him is the only thing to make anyone whole. Even if you are hurting.
Anyway, sermon over and sorry for the length of the blog!
Hope you are all well xxxx
Ah there is just so much to write I don't even know where to begin.. so I'll start at the very beginning.. the very best place to start...
I woke up early Friday morning and caught the 2hr:45min flight to Sydney. When I arrived I checked into the hotel (YHA The Rocks - very reasonable for Sydney prices!) and then went exploring. The YHA was a 5 minute walk away from "The Rocks" where all the sights too see in Sydney are, so the bridge and the opera house.
Then to get to other places in Sydney you need to catch water taxis... so on I hopped to a ferry to Darling Harbour. Here I had the first two drinks of the night - cocktails of course. Next I headed too Darlinghurst in a taxi (the traffic in Sydney is even worse than London at rush hour!) and found another cool little bar to have a drink in before a mexican dinner. Then for the final leg of the evening, I went to a "bar/pub/club" called "The Victoria Rooms" - Great Gatsby style! Amazing... my cocktail had hot peppers round the outside instead of salt.
Saturday morning I got up early and went to the markets - for breakfast there was this amazing turkish food stall which was selling turkish pancakes. I had a breakfast one which was filled with, salami, mushrooms, cheese and spinach. Then on to another market called Paddington market where I had a good old shopping spree. Then it was on to the famous Bondi Beach...
I stayed at Bondi for a while, the people I am staying with have friends there so we all met up at Bondi Social club for food and the BEST Shiraz wine I have EVER tasted. EVER. On the way home the bus journey was so funny - the till or whatever was not working so the bus driver stands up and says "on ya get for free, as long as I get paid who gives a ****" then he started playing Bob Dylan and asking everyone if they were having fun. THEN, he starts making waves with the bus (by stopping and starting really quickly) and tries to get everyone to surf them! It was brilliant... Then for dinner that night it was on to an Italian restaurant where I had my first ever grappa.. and NEVER AGAIN. It tasted like petrol.
Sydney was amazing, an experience I shall never ever forget... and I want to go back some day.
Now I am in my final week of being in Oz. I have honestly learnt a lot about myself, and realized I am stronger and braver and wiser than I used to believe I was. And I have come to realize sometimes change is a good thing. Where would we be without change? Yes change can be uncomfortable, painful and sad but for me it has been the best thing for me. I encourage you all to take a look at your life... if your life was the same as it is now this time next year, or even in 5 years time would you be happy? Would you like who you are? Would you like how you treat others.. would you wish you had gone for that career change?
If my life had not changed I would still be working miserably in a supermarket, in a long distance relationship with someone who was my life and who would be moving to Europe anyway... And even though I try to deny to myself and to others that being in that relationship wasn't the reason I didn't take opportunities, it was. And that was nobody's fault but my own. BUT, now I'm here - in AUSTRALIA, where I have always wanted to go too, and I'm in sunshine and I'm getting to sing and travel and look forward to MY future. My changes happened for a reason and no matter how painful it was, and to be honest sometimes still is (people seem to forget I'm still grieving) the change needed to happen and is best for me in the long run and is all part of God's plan for my life.
However, I suppose change can also be too much of an easy thing for people. They CONSTANTLY change things about themselves, their lives etc. and I think that is PROOF that no matter how much money you have, how much fame you have, how many changes you make to yourself and to your living situation and yet you are still not content then surely the only answer to fill that void is something higher than us human beings.. If you don't have God in your life you will never be satisfied as he and a relationship with him is the only thing to make anyone whole. Even if you are hurting.
Anyway, sermon over and sorry for the length of the blog!
Hope you are all well xxxx
Thursday 16 May 2013
Australia adventure; singing, smoothies & soulful walks
Tomorrow I head to Sydney! So very excited... I can't wait too see The Rocks, Bondi beach and of course the Opera house!
Today has been a nice laid back day. I headed too a place called Trinity beach where I got a berry smoothie (so good!) the little cafe I got it from reminds me of the set of "Home & Away" Then I headed off for a walk up some rocks to see the whole view of the sea...
It was beautiful and once more my breath was taken away by the handiwork of God's creation.
Then it was time to head home for some lunch and a singing session! I will insert a clip of me singing below. Please note that it was just a rehearsal, I had no make up on, the camera is at a dodgy angle and I mess up! But now I've mentioned these things nobody can comment on them. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruYHDg9FiAQ This song is called "Perfect" and means quite a bit too me.
I have felt that in the past I have tried so hard to be perfect for people, to impress them, and I get nothing back. I realize now, as I am older that I don't need to do this. People who like me, will like me for ME. People who don't like me, or don't think I am a good role model well... I'm sorry. I am a very open and honest person and tell everything how it is; including how I feel about things. I talk about my mistakes I make and I try and learn from them... And just another little note to add, if you have an issue with someone about ANYTHING, maybe other than just gossiping about it or embarrassing them, you could find a gentle, loving way of telling them.. just a thought. And this applies to all age groups by the way.
Rant over.
I then went on my evening walk along the beach and am now waiting for my fish and chips... Fish and chips is a big thing out here! I thought it was a really English thing.
The other day I filmed my walk home from the beach and got a good response from it.. I was told the sound was bad so I did another one today! Enjoy....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVPW9UIYXy8
Bethany xxxx
Today has been a nice laid back day. I headed too a place called Trinity beach where I got a berry smoothie (so good!) the little cafe I got it from reminds me of the set of "Home & Away" Then I headed off for a walk up some rocks to see the whole view of the sea...
It was beautiful and once more my breath was taken away by the handiwork of God's creation.
Then it was time to head home for some lunch and a singing session! I will insert a clip of me singing below. Please note that it was just a rehearsal, I had no make up on, the camera is at a dodgy angle and I mess up! But now I've mentioned these things nobody can comment on them. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruYHDg9FiAQ This song is called "Perfect" and means quite a bit too me.
I have felt that in the past I have tried so hard to be perfect for people, to impress them, and I get nothing back. I realize now, as I am older that I don't need to do this. People who like me, will like me for ME. People who don't like me, or don't think I am a good role model well... I'm sorry. I am a very open and honest person and tell everything how it is; including how I feel about things. I talk about my mistakes I make and I try and learn from them... And just another little note to add, if you have an issue with someone about ANYTHING, maybe other than just gossiping about it or embarrassing them, you could find a gentle, loving way of telling them.. just a thought. And this applies to all age groups by the way.
Rant over.
I then went on my evening walk along the beach and am now waiting for my fish and chips... Fish and chips is a big thing out here! I thought it was a really English thing.
The other day I filmed my walk home from the beach and got a good response from it.. I was told the sound was bad so I did another one today! Enjoy....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVPW9UIYXy8
Bethany xxxx
Wednesday 15 May 2013
Australian adventure; let go
I was thinking today about the subject of letting go. I know many people who need to let go of something- myself included. Letting go doesn't have to be about a relationship. It can be about a friendship, letting go of waiting for an apology you are never going to get, letting go of that goal you have worked so hard towards and the door is obviously shut for you, yet you keep pushing it and keep getting hurt because its not meant to be. (Some of you may disagree with me here)
Letting go is like having a tooth pulled out. When the tooth is pulled out, you feel relieved, yet how many times will your tongue run over the gap where the tooth used to be? Probably more than 100. Just because it wasn't hurting doesn't mean you don't notice it. It leaves a gap, and sometimes you find yourself missing it terribly. It's going to take a while, it will take time. But should you have kept that tooth? No! It was causing you too much pain. Therefore move on. And let it go.
I know, easier said than done. It's only being here, away from the hustle and bustle of London, the constant keeping myself busy, that I have looked out to the beautiful sea and just let go... I recommend it, it's good for the soul.
Tuesday 14 May 2013
Australian Adventure; Bhupi
Sorry I haven't written in a while... I have been enjoying the sunshine and sea! Also thank you to everyone who reads my blog as I have reached over 2000 views which is fab for me, so thank you! (And please encourage more to read it -the more views I get the better...)
Today is a boiling, but beautiful day. I went to work at the zoo and carried out my usual activities of cleaning and feeding. But today something interesting happened at lunch time. I sit by myself in the cafe (coz the staff are all moody and not sociable) and there I was, eating some vanilla and lindt chocolate ice cream when a man comes along and plonks himself next to me.
"Where are you from?" He says.
My mind pings "stranger danger" Do I tell him I'm from London? Do I make up a name?
"I'm from London"
"AGHHH LONDON FINALLY" The man replies "FINALLY NO FRENCH OR GERMAN OR JAPANESE OR CHINESE OR KOREAN" (I don't think I really look japanese or chinese or korean but there we go)
The man then goes on to introduce himself as Bhupi (he's from India originally but has lived in Australia for 30 years) He owns a chain of curry shops over Australia and tells me that they are "98% fat free"
"Are you looking for a job?"He asks me.
"No, I'm just here on holiday"
"What are your plans for when you get back?"
"I'm not sure yet" (this is a little white lie, I know now what I want to do but I'm not telling many people)
Bhupi slams his fist down on the table "You don't know?!" He says too me
*Insert nervous laughter from me*
Bhupi then proceeds to tell me his life story... It's a very long, and he's difficult to understand but this is the gist of it. Bhupi was a cab driver in India when a man named Peter came over from Australia to India on holiday. Peter was a very rich doctor and formed a friendship with cab driver Bhupi. Eventually Peter asked Bhupi if he had ever been to Australia. The answer was no, as Bhupi was not very well off.
A few months later Bhupi received a ticket in the post from Peter for him to come to Australia... he accepted, came out to Australia and Peter put Bhupi up in his family home in Melbourne. To cut a long story short Bhupi opened a successful restaurant in Melbourne and now has one in Cairns too.
This made me think - we never really do know people's stories do we. In all honesty I thought Bhupi was a pervy old man when he first sat down next too me (he was a little bit, he kept inviting me to the beach for champagne..)
But no, he obviously wanted to share his story with me and I was grateful for the company. And his story restored my faith in humanity. Bhupi then got up, shook my hand and told me "You a nice girl, I only talk to nice, friendly, intelligent people" And off he went.
*Ego boost for Bethany*
Its when you hear stories like this that you realize that there are a few people out there who really do have hearts of gold and want to help people. And we all should all take the time to get to know people, and see if there is any way we can help them. Obviously we are not all going to be able to pay for flights for someone somewhere, but even a smile and a chat may cheer someone up. I will never know if Peter was a christian, but he certainly did a good thing and helped Bhupi make a better life for himself.
It also made me think that we all meet certain people in our lives, some may stay with us forever, some for a few months and some literally for a few seconds. But we are influenced, and sometimes changed by these people and things they say to us can have an impact and touch our World. And one of the things that makes me sad is all the people that briefly touched my world that I will never have anything to do with again.
But no, he obviously wanted to share his story with me and I was grateful for the company. And his story restored my faith in humanity. Bhupi then got up, shook my hand and told me "You a nice girl, I only talk to nice, friendly, intelligent people" And off he went.
*Ego boost for Bethany*
Its when you hear stories like this that you realize that there are a few people out there who really do have hearts of gold and want to help people. And we all should all take the time to get to know people, and see if there is any way we can help them. Obviously we are not all going to be able to pay for flights for someone somewhere, but even a smile and a chat may cheer someone up. I will never know if Peter was a christian, but he certainly did a good thing and helped Bhupi make a better life for himself.
It also made me think that we all meet certain people in our lives, some may stay with us forever, some for a few months and some literally for a few seconds. But we are influenced, and sometimes changed by these people and things they say to us can have an impact and touch our World. And one of the things that makes me sad is all the people that briefly touched my world that I will never have anything to do with again.
After work I went and sat on the beach for a while. Nothing soothes the soul like a walk along the beach.
I filmed abit of the beach and the walk home for you... it's a very badly filmed and I look hideous, but it may make you feel like you are with me!
CLICK LINK TO WATCH VIDEO :-)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HS0sX2dHzs0
Bethany xxxx
CLICK LINK TO WATCH VIDEO :-)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HS0sX2dHzs0
Bethany xxxx
Tuesday 7 May 2013
Australian Adventure; Central Cairns & Paw Paw
Today it is chucking it down with the rain. Not just spitting, or raining, this is proper puddle, flood making rain. And I walked in it and was smiling,because it didn't feel like cold English rain, it was warm and for some reason made me walk down the street with a big grin on my face. Maybe because I think God is having a bit of fun, making it rain here whilst its sunny in England!
I got the bus into Central Cairns as I couldn't exactly spend the day at the beach sunbathing without the sun!
It took 45 minutes on the bus and I got off and I had no idea where to go first.. I had no map.. nobody with me.. and I didn't panic! (Yay anxiety did not kick in!) I knew the esplanade was around somewhere so I went into the nearest shop and asked for directions. They pointed me in the direction to go and off I went. I found it and went for a walk along the lagoon... it was beautiful even with dark grey clouds and rain!
I was then quite hungry so found a little cafe and ordered myself a paw paw smoothie and avocado, tomato and cheese toastie. I then realised I had no idea what paw paw was. I had just ordered it because it sounded exotic haha. I knew it was a fruit, but what kind of fruit! I've had to come home and google it and to be honest I still don't really get what it is, it has a cool name and it tasted good.
Then I went shopping! It was a strange feeling wandering around not really knowing where I was going, but it soon became familiar and I had to be so self controlled not to buy lots of things... (I was especially tempted by all the touristy junk!)
There were art galleries and museums and I found a nandos! That's right, Australia does nandos.
Not much else to report really apart from I am now soaked as I walked from the bus stop which is a good 20 minute walk... I must have looked like a mad women grinning in the rain haha.
Have a good Wednesday xxxx
I got the bus into Central Cairns as I couldn't exactly spend the day at the beach sunbathing without the sun!
It took 45 minutes on the bus and I got off and I had no idea where to go first.. I had no map.. nobody with me.. and I didn't panic! (Yay anxiety did not kick in!) I knew the esplanade was around somewhere so I went into the nearest shop and asked for directions. They pointed me in the direction to go and off I went. I found it and went for a walk along the lagoon... it was beautiful even with dark grey clouds and rain!
I was then quite hungry so found a little cafe and ordered myself a paw paw smoothie and avocado, tomato and cheese toastie. I then realised I had no idea what paw paw was. I had just ordered it because it sounded exotic haha. I knew it was a fruit, but what kind of fruit! I've had to come home and google it and to be honest I still don't really get what it is, it has a cool name and it tasted good.
Then I went shopping! It was a strange feeling wandering around not really knowing where I was going, but it soon became familiar and I had to be so self controlled not to buy lots of things... (I was especially tempted by all the touristy junk!)
There were art galleries and museums and I found a nandos! That's right, Australia does nandos.
Not much else to report really apart from I am now soaked as I walked from the bus stop which is a good 20 minute walk... I must have looked like a mad women grinning in the rain haha.
Have a good Wednesday xxxx
Monday 6 May 2013
Australian Adventure; Kangaroo kicks and Wombat bites
Well yesterday was an eventful day at the Zoo!
I was going about my every day routine, feeding the koalas, cleaning out the animals and then it was time to weed one of the many kangaroo pens. There are two that I have fallen in love with called Marvin and Theo, they were raised by humans and are so are very lovable and always want too climb up my shorts or nibble my hand or give my face a lick. I was picking up the weeds, and Marvin and Theo were having a bit of fun when all of a sudden I stood up, and Marvin just WENT for me. Literally it happened so quickly. He kicked, then dug his claws in then his teeth and just clung to my leg. I didn't know what to do! So I did the girlie thing... and screamed! But nobody came, (health and safety laws are wayyy to laid back over here) so then I just started kicking my leg until the kangaroo was flung off.
I ran out of the pen and was shaking but then I just burst into laughter.. a kangaroo had just attacked me and I wish it had been filmed because it probably looked quite funny! I have a few bruises and scratches but I'm okay... just gonna have to be brave enough to go back in there next week!
I then went in with the DINGO'S to weed their pen. I had to have a trained zookeeper with me to go in with the dingos. I was honestly wetting myself.. dingo's are scary and wild and make this howling sound. However the zookeeper just instructed me to go into the pen and stand very still, let them come up to me and sniff and lick and jump up at me. Dogs have never really been my favourite animal.. but I just had to man up and do it. There is a quote from the Chronicles of Narnia by C.S Lewis that says "Peter did not feel very brave; indeed, he felt he was going to be sick. But that made no difference to what he had to do" Now I know it probably doesn't sound like a very big deal, going in to a dingo's den to weed, but I was honestly very scared. But the aussie's are all so tough that there isn't any time for wimpish "I'm scared I'm going to be eaten alive" excuses. And I'm glad I did it now.
Walking back from the dingo's I noticed one of the zookeepers struggling controlling a wombat. I called in to ask if he was okay, and the wombat had managed to get a piece of sharp, rusty metal through the tough skin on his foot and would need two tetanus shots. As we gave the wombat the first shot, he decided to bite down on the poor zookeepers hand. I have never seen anyone look in so much pain (wombats are the 3rd most dangerous animal we have at the zoo and they can break your hand when they bite) Of course the zookeeper then could not give the rest of the tetanus shots and I went straight into first aid mode. The first thing I said was "you need a cup of tea with 3 sugars and too sit down" (how very british of me!) instead we had to settle for a full fat coke. Poor guy.
Today I am off the zoo and have been out for a walk to the local shops to buy some food supplies, and then I headed to the beach too do some reading. It's hot today, but there are a few occasional down pours of rain I have to be ready for!
Time to go and get some more sun!
Bethany xxxx
I was going about my every day routine, feeding the koalas, cleaning out the animals and then it was time to weed one of the many kangaroo pens. There are two that I have fallen in love with called Marvin and Theo, they were raised by humans and are so are very lovable and always want too climb up my shorts or nibble my hand or give my face a lick. I was picking up the weeds, and Marvin and Theo were having a bit of fun when all of a sudden I stood up, and Marvin just WENT for me. Literally it happened so quickly. He kicked, then dug his claws in then his teeth and just clung to my leg. I didn't know what to do! So I did the girlie thing... and screamed! But nobody came, (health and safety laws are wayyy to laid back over here) so then I just started kicking my leg until the kangaroo was flung off.
I ran out of the pen and was shaking but then I just burst into laughter.. a kangaroo had just attacked me and I wish it had been filmed because it probably looked quite funny! I have a few bruises and scratches but I'm okay... just gonna have to be brave enough to go back in there next week!
I then went in with the DINGO'S to weed their pen. I had to have a trained zookeeper with me to go in with the dingos. I was honestly wetting myself.. dingo's are scary and wild and make this howling sound. However the zookeeper just instructed me to go into the pen and stand very still, let them come up to me and sniff and lick and jump up at me. Dogs have never really been my favourite animal.. but I just had to man up and do it. There is a quote from the Chronicles of Narnia by C.S Lewis that says "Peter did not feel very brave; indeed, he felt he was going to be sick. But that made no difference to what he had to do" Now I know it probably doesn't sound like a very big deal, going in to a dingo's den to weed, but I was honestly very scared. But the aussie's are all so tough that there isn't any time for wimpish "I'm scared I'm going to be eaten alive" excuses. And I'm glad I did it now.
Walking back from the dingo's I noticed one of the zookeepers struggling controlling a wombat. I called in to ask if he was okay, and the wombat had managed to get a piece of sharp, rusty metal through the tough skin on his foot and would need two tetanus shots. As we gave the wombat the first shot, he decided to bite down on the poor zookeepers hand. I have never seen anyone look in so much pain (wombats are the 3rd most dangerous animal we have at the zoo and they can break your hand when they bite) Of course the zookeeper then could not give the rest of the tetanus shots and I went straight into first aid mode. The first thing I said was "you need a cup of tea with 3 sugars and too sit down" (how very british of me!) instead we had to settle for a full fat coke. Poor guy.
Today I am off the zoo and have been out for a walk to the local shops to buy some food supplies, and then I headed to the beach too do some reading. It's hot today, but there are a few occasional down pours of rain I have to be ready for!
Time to go and get some more sun!
Bethany xxxx
Saturday 4 May 2013
Australian Adventure; I've forgotten the days
Sorry for not writing much over the past few days... I can't actually remember what day I got up too!
Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday I have off the zoo so I was doing a lot of relaxing and sunbathing by the pool/beach.
On Friday night I went out to eat at a place called "the beach shack" its amazing; they set up stone ovens and cook pizza, have a DJ, and serve cocktails/beer all right by the sea... so you can watch the sunset if you get there early enough. As it is winter here the sun sets about 5:15pm!
Saturday was another lazy day by the pool, then I went to do a bit of food shopping and it was rehearsal time as the concert is today (sunday!) There is so much talent out here...
In the evening it was fish and chip time and we watched a lovely film called Quartet...
This morning I woke up, went for a walk along the beach and have just finished reading one of my books called "A street cat named Bob" it is such a good book and really gives insight into homelessness and from now on I will most certainly be viewing people living rough on the streets in a different manner. I have a feeling we are all too judgmental sometimes. I also may buy a big issue magazine from now on.. did you know that the people selling that have to buy copies themselves to sell? It teaches them how to handle business and their own money - the big issue is there to give people a hand up, not just a hand, I'd never realized that before.
On my walks I do a lot of thinking and it got me to that this time last year I would never have expected to be on the other side of the world. Life changes every minute of every day. You lose friends, and you gain friends. You become friends with someone you used to dislike. You look for love, and find love, and lose love. You realize that all along you have been loved. You laugh, you cry. You laugh so hard you end up crying. You do this, you do that. You really wish you hadn't done that but then you learn from it and are glad you did it. You have your ups and your downs. You see good movies, you see bad movies. You wonder if your life is just one big movie. You look at others and wish you were them. You then realize who they actually are and become glad that you are YOU. You love life. You hate life. In the end, you find yourself happy to be living life, no matter whats thrown at you.
That's where I am right now. I'm happy to be alive. I've been put here for a reason, and no I may not know that reason yet, but God has it all under control - I am so blessed to have this opportunity to find myself, and I realize how much I have matured in a few months (weeks!)
All I can say is this - life is a rollercoaster, but God will never give you anything you can't handle.
Bethany xxxx
Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday I have off the zoo so I was doing a lot of relaxing and sunbathing by the pool/beach.
On Friday night I went out to eat at a place called "the beach shack" its amazing; they set up stone ovens and cook pizza, have a DJ, and serve cocktails/beer all right by the sea... so you can watch the sunset if you get there early enough. As it is winter here the sun sets about 5:15pm!
Saturday was another lazy day by the pool, then I went to do a bit of food shopping and it was rehearsal time as the concert is today (sunday!) There is so much talent out here...
In the evening it was fish and chip time and we watched a lovely film called Quartet...
This morning I woke up, went for a walk along the beach and have just finished reading one of my books called "A street cat named Bob" it is such a good book and really gives insight into homelessness and from now on I will most certainly be viewing people living rough on the streets in a different manner. I have a feeling we are all too judgmental sometimes. I also may buy a big issue magazine from now on.. did you know that the people selling that have to buy copies themselves to sell? It teaches them how to handle business and their own money - the big issue is there to give people a hand up, not just a hand, I'd never realized that before.
On my walks I do a lot of thinking and it got me to that this time last year I would never have expected to be on the other side of the world. Life changes every minute of every day. You lose friends, and you gain friends. You become friends with someone you used to dislike. You look for love, and find love, and lose love. You realize that all along you have been loved. You laugh, you cry. You laugh so hard you end up crying. You do this, you do that. You really wish you hadn't done that but then you learn from it and are glad you did it. You have your ups and your downs. You see good movies, you see bad movies. You wonder if your life is just one big movie. You look at others and wish you were them. You then realize who they actually are and become glad that you are YOU. You love life. You hate life. In the end, you find yourself happy to be living life, no matter whats thrown at you.
That's where I am right now. I'm happy to be alive. I've been put here for a reason, and no I may not know that reason yet, but God has it all under control - I am so blessed to have this opportunity to find myself, and I realize how much I have matured in a few months (weeks!)
All I can say is this - life is a rollercoaster, but God will never give you anything you can't handle.
Bethany xxxx
Thursday 2 May 2013
Australia Adventure; Day 7
I can't believe I have been here for a week already!
Today has been a relaxing day off from work at the Zoo and I have been concentrating on my singing instead. Here are two clips of what I have been rehearsing...
After singing I headed on the 5 minute walk to Kwearra Beach resort and spa. I drank an ice chocolate whilst looking out at the beach and looked up courses I could do when I get back to the UK.. I am still as clueless as ever (if not even more confused as I have found new options!) But hey I have another 4 weeks to ponder.
I then went for a walk along the beach and was emotionally moved by the beauty of what I saw. I really don't understand how people can think this was created by a big bang... someone obviously put a lot of thought and detail into creating the world.. and I think the evidence is there in the beauty of creation.
As I was walking along the beach I noticed some footprints in the sand and it reminded me of the poem...
I hope this poem speaks some encouragement to you whatever situation you are in... just know that God is a Father and a friend, so he will walk with you and carry you when you need it.
I am off to have a good old ozzie BBQ and beer!
xxxxxx
Today has been a relaxing day off from work at the Zoo and I have been concentrating on my singing instead. Here are two clips of what I have been rehearsing...
I then went for a walk along the beach and was emotionally moved by the beauty of what I saw. I really don't understand how people can think this was created by a big bang... someone obviously put a lot of thought and detail into creating the world.. and I think the evidence is there in the beauty of creation.
As I was walking along the beach I noticed some footprints in the sand and it reminded me of the poem...
I am off to have a good old ozzie BBQ and beer!
xxxxxx
Wednesday 1 May 2013
Australian adventure; Day 6
Today has been a good day, and I am sweating a lot which means I have worked hard!
Today I was at the zoo again and was working with mammals which is my favourite department!
It started of with a morning of raking leaves, but this has to be done and I know the quicker I get this job done then I shall be rewarded with cuddles and being able to feed the sweetie pie's that are koalas and kanagaroos and wombats.
As I was cleaning out the koala pens this morning I managed to get a few cheeky photos..
After clean out it was time too feed the koalas and kangaroos! They all get a gum tree (well the leaves anyway) and a syringe of paste and then a syringe of multi vitamins.. its all stuff that we would give to growing children over in the UK!
Today I also got to meet and cuddle a wombat for the first time! Her name was buttercup (what a name for a wombat I thought to myself!) and she was a sweetie, however I couldn't hold her for long by myself as she weighed 26kg and nearly squashed poor tiny me... I shall no longer be calling people I don't like wombats, because in fact I now like wombats.
Today I had to face the male kangaroos ALONE. Gulp!
May not sound like a big deal, but they are the most dangerous as its coming up to mating season they tend to kick and punch... I had to feed them alone and all I kept thinking to myself was "I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me" & it worked - I didn't get kicked or punched!
I then had to nebulize a baby koala (11 month old Humphrey!) as he had pneumonia when he was younger and it has affected his lungs so he now has difficulty breathing! I really liked doing this (not in an odd way) but probably because I was caring for something.
Tomorrow and Friday and Saturday and Sunday are my days off to sing and I need to rehearse as the concert is on Sunday (aahh!) I will probably hit the beach also.
Hope you are all having a good week!
Today I was at the zoo again and was working with mammals which is my favourite department!
It started of with a morning of raking leaves, but this has to be done and I know the quicker I get this job done then I shall be rewarded with cuddles and being able to feed the sweetie pie's that are koalas and kanagaroos and wombats.
As I was cleaning out the koala pens this morning I managed to get a few cheeky photos..
 |
| ButterCup! |
Today I also got to meet and cuddle a wombat for the first time! Her name was buttercup (what a name for a wombat I thought to myself!) and she was a sweetie, however I couldn't hold her for long by myself as she weighed 26kg and nearly squashed poor tiny me... I shall no longer be calling people I don't like wombats, because in fact I now like wombats.
Today I had to face the male kangaroos ALONE. Gulp!
May not sound like a big deal, but they are the most dangerous as its coming up to mating season they tend to kick and punch... I had to feed them alone and all I kept thinking to myself was "I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me" & it worked - I didn't get kicked or punched!
Tomorrow and Friday and Saturday and Sunday are my days off to sing and I need to rehearse as the concert is on Sunday (aahh!) I will probably hit the beach also.
Hope you are all having a good week!
Tuesday 30 April 2013
Cyclone and British Wimp; Australian Adventure; Day 5
I have been away from home for a week today... crazy how time flies!
I was back at the zoo today and this time working with reptiles... NEVER. AGAIN.
was all up for being brave and trying new things but seriously! I held a snake and dealt with it, I could probably feed a crocodile if I got given an opportunity too but today I had to clean out rats and mice and their poo and dirt and their dead bodies and their babies and if they were ill I had to kill them and OHMYGOODNESS! I think I have found my phobia - rats and mice.
It was disgusting and horrible and the aussie's probably all thought I was a blonde, british wimp because at the end of the day I told them I would not be working in reptiles again but mammals because I can cuddle them.
Looking back on it I can chuckle but at the time I really wanted to cry. I don't know what it was about them but I just couldn't bring myself to fall in love with that particular job...
The highlight of the day was getting to help carry a python.. he was too heavy for me too hold alone and he probably could have wrapped himself round my whole body in the space of 30 seconds! Holding a snake felt odd, because every time he wriggled it felt like his skin was breaking in half, it was also a slimy texture.
After work I got the bus home and then decided to walk for some of the way... I got a little bit lost and had to ask a local for directions but hey wheres the adventure without getting lost once in a while!
I also met a friendly kangaroo that I have named Ringo.... Tonight I shall be eating omelette and chilling before another day of work tomorrow. Also a cyclone is meant to be happening tomorrow.. never experienced one of those before!
Until tomorrow (unless the cyclone or crocs get me) xxxx
I was back at the zoo today and this time working with reptiles... NEVER. AGAIN.
was all up for being brave and trying new things but seriously! I held a snake and dealt with it, I could probably feed a crocodile if I got given an opportunity too but today I had to clean out rats and mice and their poo and dirt and their dead bodies and their babies and if they were ill I had to kill them and OHMYGOODNESS! I think I have found my phobia - rats and mice.
It was disgusting and horrible and the aussie's probably all thought I was a blonde, british wimp because at the end of the day I told them I would not be working in reptiles again but mammals because I can cuddle them.
Looking back on it I can chuckle but at the time I really wanted to cry. I don't know what it was about them but I just couldn't bring myself to fall in love with that particular job...
The highlight of the day was getting to help carry a python.. he was too heavy for me too hold alone and he probably could have wrapped himself round my whole body in the space of 30 seconds! Holding a snake felt odd, because every time he wriggled it felt like his skin was breaking in half, it was also a slimy texture.
 |
| I had to wear one of these masks as the rats and mice stunk! With my friends Livvie and Taylah . |
After work I got the bus home and then decided to walk for some of the way... I got a little bit lost and had to ask a local for directions but hey wheres the adventure without getting lost once in a while!
I also met a friendly kangaroo that I have named Ringo.... Tonight I shall be eating omelette and chilling before another day of work tomorrow. Also a cyclone is meant to be happening tomorrow.. never experienced one of those before!
Until tomorrow (unless the cyclone or crocs get me) xxxx
 |
| LOVE FROM ME AND RINGO XXX |
Monday 29 April 2013
Australian Adventure; Day 4
I can't really put into words how I am feeling right now - I feel like I have this overwhelming sense of peace inside me, and I just feel so happy, so blessed and I don't have any alcohol in my system.
Today was my first day of working at the tropical zoo and it was fabulous! I have never in my life thought of, or really wanted to work with animals - but when the opportunity was given to me I couldn't turn it down. Why not do something completly out of my comfort zone?!
Today I worked with mammals! The first few jobs of the day were not that thrilling and I was dreading that I was going to be stuck doing boring jobs all day... I had to bleach and clean the koala cages and rake leaves... but I kept reminding myself that whatever you do work at it with ALL your heart and anyway I was in the blazing sun!
I then got to feed and clean and cuddle and pet the animals. In Australia it is SO laid back! My first day, no training and they send me off into the kangaroo cages ALONE to feed them. But not just usual food - they like to give the kangaroos "enrichment" activities and so I sprayed peppermint, lemon and sprinkled cinnamon on rocks for the kangaroos (kind of to give them a bit of a high?!) and they came bounding over! It took everything in me not to squeal and run away.
There was a gorgeous animal called a wallaby who decided to crawl up my shorts because he had been raised by humans and was incredibly lovable.
There was also a baby kangaroo who had just been born and a koala that fell off its tree!
I did lots of feeding of animals and more leaf raking and watched a crocodile show. I also made some new gorgeous friends. Once again I can't really put into words how amazing an opportunity this is for me and I just wish I had TV cameras following me so that you could really feel the experience rather than just reading this badly written thing!
Here are a few photos...
Goodnight xxxx
Today was my first day of working at the tropical zoo and it was fabulous! I have never in my life thought of, or really wanted to work with animals - but when the opportunity was given to me I couldn't turn it down. Why not do something completly out of my comfort zone?!
Today I worked with mammals! The first few jobs of the day were not that thrilling and I was dreading that I was going to be stuck doing boring jobs all day... I had to bleach and clean the koala cages and rake leaves... but I kept reminding myself that whatever you do work at it with ALL your heart and anyway I was in the blazing sun!
I then got to feed and clean and cuddle and pet the animals. In Australia it is SO laid back! My first day, no training and they send me off into the kangaroo cages ALONE to feed them. But not just usual food - they like to give the kangaroos "enrichment" activities and so I sprayed peppermint, lemon and sprinkled cinnamon on rocks for the kangaroos (kind of to give them a bit of a high?!) and they came bounding over! It took everything in me not to squeal and run away.
There was a gorgeous animal called a wallaby who decided to crawl up my shorts because he had been raised by humans and was incredibly lovable.
There was also a baby kangaroo who had just been born and a koala that fell off its tree!
I did lots of feeding of animals and more leaf raking and watched a crocodile show. I also made some new gorgeous friends. Once again I can't really put into words how amazing an opportunity this is for me and I just wish I had TV cameras following me so that you could really feel the experience rather than just reading this badly written thing!
Here are a few photos...
Goodnight xxxx
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