Rollercoaster Ride

I feel like I need to write a post that follows on from my previous, as it was a very sad and heart wrenching post to write & I wanted to write a short piece about how I've been feeling/doing as people do ask but then I want to try and move on.

I never imagined I would witness someone take their life. It's been a month today since the death of Joon Kyu Kim & I remember him everyday; The flashbacks are frequent. I see his face & his body, and I see him flying & I can't watch the new Ikea advert without my breathing becoming short and my head becoming dizzy. I feel sick when I walk over the place his body lay, and if someone says the word "throw" I flinch. Loud noises make me panic & I have a new awareness of heights which I didn't have before. When the news that Robin Williams had committed suicide broke, I found myself a crumbled mess & I feel every suicide I hear about now will affect me greatly. I am finding things difficult. But I am trying & I am getting there.

But lets move on.

I am going to live a good and long life filled with great and terrible moments that I cannot even imagine yet. And so are you.

 

Life is a funny thing. You can be plain sailing along, without a care in the world, and you can actually be having a great time & loving life and then something happens and it really shakes you, shocks you and raises your eyes to the heavens.

"God, why did that just happen?"

"Lord, why did I just see that?"

 

I almost feel these moments HAVE to happen to us. I don't want people to think that God is an evil God who makes bad situations happen so that he can gain attention, I think these moments HAVE to happen so that we can be pulled closer to the one who is the source of peace & the only one who can do anything to make our situation better. We can't make things better. Our friend's & family can't either because none of them really know how you are feeling or exactly what you are experiencing.  In some ways, its like a little (or MASSIVE) nudge from God saying "Hey, this life thing; you aren't meant to and you don't have to do it alone; I've got you"

 

It happens in the good moments too. When something astonishing happens to you, what's the first thing you do? I know my reaction is to cry happy tears and in my head I laugh to God saying "Really? This amazing thing is for me?" or "Thank you, for this amazing, crazy life" 

God wants to be there in those good moments too, smiling and laughing with us in our happiness. He wants to be your best friend enjoying these times with you.

 

In every good or terrible moment God is pulling us closer to him. Reminding us not to go at life alone. For our souls to find rest in his embrace & that he has every situation in the palm of his hand.

 

Now go enjoy this rollercoaster life.

 

(Song below is called "Oceans" by Hillsong)

Enjoy!